Funny Little Letters That Should Have Been Written

Thank you to my wonderful friend Rhobby for emailing me these hilarious little notes…..

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Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

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Dear J.K Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous

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Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Google

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Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

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Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack

PS, you let go

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Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

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Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

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Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

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Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely, The World

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Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people

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Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

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Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

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Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

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Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

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Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol

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Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely, Jenny

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Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

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Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

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Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka

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Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

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Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

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Dear Man,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

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Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr Pepper

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Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada


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One Response to “Funny Little Letters That Should Have Been Written”
  1. Belinda Says:

    OMG, I LOVE these!! Your friend is brilliant, and must come up with more of these!! Write a book and make a million. It’s a grand idea. As clever as Jimmy Fallon’s “Thank You Notes.”

    ;~)

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