Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon. Over Already?

Here’s a headline I wasn’t at all surprised to see:

Newlywed woes for Mariah and Nick

Wait, what? These two lovebirds – two soulmates – who rushed to the alter after barely knowing each other’s shoe size are having marital problems? Say it isn’t so!

Sources close to the couple have conflicting accounts of the relationship status, but most agree that the marriage won’t last much longer.

“I give the marriage six months, tops,” said a source close to the singer. “I can’t see it lasting.”

…that gloom-and-doom prediction is Nick’s need to do everything for his diva bride.

“Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to — he’s like her puppy,” the insider continued. “It seems like Nick spends more time in the stores with Mariah’s credit card than he does with Mariah herself.”

“Mariah’s assistants and friends call him ‘Whipped Nick’ behind his back,” the Mariah insider told Life & Style [Magazine]. “They have little respect for him because he won’t stand up for himself.”

Ree Hines – MSNBC Entertainment

Ten of the Shortest Celebrity Marriages:

10. Jennifer Lopez & Cris Judd
Married: Sept. 29, 2001
Split after nine months

9. Drew Barrymore & Tom Green
Married: July 6, 2001
Split after five months

8. Shannen Doherty & Ashley Hamilton
Married: Sept. 24, 1993
Split after five months

7. Colin Farrell & Amelia Warner
Married: July 17, 2001
Split after four months

6. Nicolas Cage & Lisa Marie Presley
Married: Aug. 10, 2002
Split after 3½ months

5. Ernest Borgnine & Ethel Merman
Married: June 26, 1964
Split after 32 days

4. Dennis Rodman & Carmen Electra
Married: Nov. 14, 1998
Split after nine days

3. Cher & Gregg Allman
Married: July 9, 1975
Split after nine days

2. Dennis Hopper & Michelle Phillips
Married: Oct. 31, 1970
Split after eight days

1. Rudolph Valentino & Jean Acker
Married: November 1919
Split after six hours

And a couple more for good measure:

*Shannen Doherty and Ashley Hamilton. – Her 2002 union with producer Rick Salomon of Paris Hilton sex tape infamy lasted a relatively long 8 months.

*Zsa Zsa Gabor and eighth husband Felipe de Alba. – 1 day (1982).

Maybe those marriages would have lasted longer if they all had receptions like this: