Category: Funny Stuff

This Is Why You Should Never Lie To Your Mother

My Grandmother, of all people, sent me the following email forward. Enjoy! Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and …

The True Story Of The Chip Stealing Seagull.

I got an email the other day which has been circulating since the end of 2007. I’m sure you’ve gotten it at some point – it’s about a seagull that likes to steal chips. I’m sharing it with you tonight because it’s a great example of how stories can change …

When Insults Had Class

It’s Friday, it’s hot and I’ve had a long week. ‘Nuf said. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. “He had delusions of adequacy.”…

Instructions for Life from the Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama makes it sounds so easy. And perhaps it is. 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 2. When you lose, don’t lose the idea. 3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self Respect for others Responsibility for all your actions 4.…

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

This very valuable information; especially if your day was anything like mine today….. 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom; don’t disguise your voice.…

Is This A Jellyfish Bad Day?

If you don’t laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.…

If Bill Gates Made Cars.

A friend emailed this to me the other day. There’s no real validity to any of it (it’s the mutated offspring of a simple joke), but it still made me laugh; and we can all use a good laugh. Gates vs.…

Dispute Between Neighbors. A True Story.

One of my goals in life is to some day own a house surrounded by land, and far enough away from neighbors so I can’t hear their toilet flush or clearly hear family spats. Have I ever mentioned that I live next door to a couple who likes to fight …

Thanksgiving Dinner Rules

One week from today, Thanksgiving will kick off the 2007 Holiday Season. Well, in America anyway, and only if you don’t count Halloween. But other than that, it’s the beginning. Last year I was thankful for plenty. This year, eh, not so much.…

I’ll Take A Water With Lemon Please!

I’m always getting on my boyfriend about how he needs to drink more water. I’m sure you can relate in one way or another.Maybe I’ll print out this list and put it on the fridge so I can point to it the next time he (or I) want Coke instead …

I Want To Eat Eight Apples And Bananas!

After you read this, I’m sure you’ll agree that the expression “going bananas” comes from the effects bananas have on the brain. Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.…

The Southern Lady

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South.…

How to Sing the Blues

1. Most Blues begin, “Woke up this morning…” 2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.”…

The Cold Within

The Cold Within Author Unknown Six human trapped by happenstance In dark and bitter cold. Each one possessed a stick of wood, Or so the story’s told. Their dying fire in need of logs, The first woman held hers back, For on the faces ‘round the fire, She noticed that …