Got this from my mom today. Pet owners and non-pet owners alike will get a kick out of it….. The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing... 

My Grandmother, of all people, sent me the following email forward. Enjoy! Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching... 

Here’s a great email I got from my mom this morning. Enjoy! A SENIOR MOMENT – An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times and this newspaper thanks him most sincerely. Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three ‘nanoseconds’ must have... 

Now this is just freaky! 2010 is the only year that this will ever work. Be sure to calculated it out as you go. No cheating!! 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1760, if... 

This is hilarious and sooooooooo true!! LOVE IT! Hope you do too….. If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot…BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew... 

While I cannot vouch for the validity of the following story, it’s cute none the less and needs to be shared. Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin, tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. The poster read: “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?” A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed... 

Welcome to the intersection of Avenue T and Van Sicklen in Brooklyn, NY. Just a few doors down is a teeny-tiny house – the smallest one in the borough, as a matter of fact. Located on a lot that used to be a driveway only 7.25 feet wide and 113.67 feet long, the unique house with one bedroom and one bathroom isn’t even 300 square feet. A shot from the living room, looking towards the front of the house….. And towards the back….. Here’s... 

Please Note: This is an email forward, so if it’s wrong in any way, it’s not my fault. This one is priceless… A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel... 

I got an email the other day which has been circulating since the end of 2007. I’m sure you’ve gotten it at some point – it’s about a seagull that likes to steal chips. I’m sharing it with you tonight because it’s a great example of how stories can change as they are circulated around the internet. I assure you that the video is real but the story behind it has gotten a bit tweaked. Here’s the email I got….. A seagull in... 

It’s Friday, it’s hot and I’ve had a long week. ‘Nuf said. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. “He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill “A modest little... 

The Dalai Lama makes it sounds so easy. And perhaps it is. 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 2. When you lose, don’t lose the idea. 3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self Respect for others Responsibility for all your actions 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. 5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. 6. Don’t let a little... 

I’ve been hanging on to this one for a while, and now I know why; it was waiting for a day just like today. In a nutshell, I had a poopy day; nothing too serious, just one of those days. 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room... 

This very valuable information; especially if your day was anything like mine today….. 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom; don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it ‘In’. 5. Put decaf in the... 

If you don’t laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring... 

A friend emailed this to me the other day. There’s no real validity to any of it (it’s the mutated offspring of a simple joke), but it still made me laugh; and we can all use a good laugh. Gates vs. GM For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry...