Basically I’ll be posting whatever I’m thinking when I’m thinking it while watching the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards on CBS this evening. Winners will be listed in a separate post.
Ready? GO!
It’s 8:00 p.m. and my first thought is…..
-Who the heck is that black dude? Is that a stupid question?
-I love Lady GaGa.
-Lady GaGa looks like Tinkerbell on crack. But in a good way.
-Elton John and Lady GaGa! Fu*k yeah!! Nice that they can both play piano. She actually has talent. Nice.
-Is Elton John “Mr. Duet at Award Shows” now?
-Awww, Lady GaGa called him Sir. How respectful.
-Stephen Colbert is looking good. Introduced teenage daughter – how cute.
-Song of the year….Colbert pulls out his iPad with the nominees on it. How so very 2010.
-Song of the Year Winner: Beyonce. Booooo! Not my choice, but whatever; should have been Kings of Leon or Lady Gaga.
-What the hell is Jennifer Lopez wearing? Ewww
-Green Day and cast of Broadway’s “American Idiot” perform for first time together…..not too sure how I feel…..seems too mellow to be Green Day, but maybe it’ll pick up…..maybe not…..eh, not very impressed.
Commercial
-And we’re back…..Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel tell us to vote for which Jon Bovi song we want him to perform. I’m on the West Coast so of course voting is over.
-Best Country Album Winner: Taylor Swift. Woot! Woot!
-Love Taylor’s dress; she always looks so surprised and grateful when she wins.
-Simon Baker…..uh…those glasses? What the…..
-Beyonce performance…..Beyonce walks like Tyra Banks…..what’s with the military crap…..and that dang wind machine! She must travel with it. Is her wig on crooked or is the part supposed to be that far over?
-WTF?? Beyonce is singing Alanis Morissette’s “You Outta Know”….really?
-Eh, not too impressed with the performance. Sorry Beyonce. Maybe it’s just me.
Commercial
-Back again…..Seal…..talks about Lifetime Achievement Award…..introduces Pink.
-Ewww, I’m not liking Pink’s outfit. Is that over thing gonna come off?
-Well so far I’m quite bored by the performances. I realize it’s not the MTV Music Awards, but come on! Look alive people!
-Hot damn it came off! But what the heck is that??
-I guess the spinning cloth crap is good, but I’m still fairly bored.
-Pink dipped in water, boyfriend says, “Oh Lord.” haha Then adds “It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.”
-Keith Urban and some country chick I don’t know…..Keith thought Pink was amazing.
-Best New Artist Winner: Zac Brown Band. Boyfriend is happy.
-Miley Cyrus is going to introduce The Black Eyed Peas…..she better not sing! If you can call her nasal whining singing, that is.
Commercial
-And here’s Miley…..OMG SHE BUGS ME SOOOOO MUCH!!!
-The Black Eyed Peas start with a little rap from Fergie…..um…..ok…..and what’s with the stupid weird costumes? Weird is ok, but those are stupid…..are they trying to be futuristic or look like robots?
-Peas performance is the most entertaining so far…..perform “I Gotta Feeling” of course; it’s so overplayed! But it’s the Grammys so whatever I guess.
-Oh, well Will.i.am just said “welcome to the future” so I guess they were going for a futuristic look.
Commercial
-Here come the Jonas Brothers…..blaaaaaaaaaah…..but I’m not 12 so I guess I don’t get it…..introduce Lady Antebellum.
-Lady Antebellum sings their overplayed song “I Need You Now”…..yet another fairly boring performance.
-Aren’t they supposed to give out awards at the Grammys?? What’s up with all the stupid performances? Herumph. I think it’s time to refill my wine glass.
-Ok, so I’m gonna give up on naming the presenters; I just can’t think that fast.
-Best Comedy Album Winner: Stephen Colbert
Commerical The show 3 1/2 hours long – because of all the dang commercial breaks! Give out some awards already.
-Nora Jones and Ringo Starr mention another Lifetime Achievement Award recipient…..announce Record of the Year.
-Record of the Year Winner: Kings of Leon
-Robert Downey, Jr introduces next performance…..some opera crap…..oh, no wait, it’s Jamie Foxx. I refuse to accept Jamie Foxx as a singer, but that’s just me. I think I’ll take this time to visit the bathroom.
-They’ve given out basically 5 awards in an hour an a half. Crazy! The boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind though. My sister and I are a bit annoyed by it, however.
-SLASH!! Sweet! Only redeeming part of Jamie Foxx’s performance.
Commercial
-Out comes Katy Perry with Alice Cooper…..announce Best Rock Album.
-Best Rock Album Winner: Green Day
-Chris O’Donnell…..yummy…..introduces Zac Brown Band with Leon Russell performance.
-Yet another performance! *pulls out hair*
-OMG!! ANOTHER COMMERCIAL!!! This sh*t’s annoying.
Commercial
-Ryan Seacrest…..introduces next performance…..Taylor Swift…..oh, and here comes Stevie Nicks.
-I wonder if Stevie Nicks listens to her old performances and says “damn I can’t sing anymore”…..guess that’s what years and years of cocaine use does to you.
-Is it time for the Michael Jackson tribute yet??
-Lionel Richie…..he said Michael Jackson…..finally!!
-Michael Jackson tribute…..got my 3D glasses…..3D glasses on!!
-So the BEST part of the tribute was seeing Beyonce rock out with her 3D glasses on. The WORST part? Celine Dion!! But she’s the worst part of anything she’s a part of.
-Prince Michael and Paris accept their dad’s Lifetime Achievement Award…..clearly nervous and overwhelmed by it all…..so glad they spoke…..Michael Jackson lives on in them
Commercial
-Sheryl Crow (barf!)…..what the heck is hanging from her ears?…..introduces Bon Jovi.
-Bon Jovi performs…..am I the only one who thinks he wears a wig ’cause he’s really going bald? Just asking.
-The song voted on, by the way, was “Living On A Prayer”
-Um…..yeah…..it’s a wig…..or at least plugs.
-Is Mos Def high? Or on pills or something? Move your lips Mos!!…..announce Best Rap Song Collaboration.
-Best Rap Song Collaboration Winner: Jay-Z, Rihanna, Kanye West
-Kanye West must have jizzed in his pants when Jay-Z called him a genius.
Commercial
-Wyclef Jean brings salutations from Haiti and thanks America for the support…..called Haiti earthquake the worst one in mankind…..um, really? I think there’s probably a worse one somewhere in the history books. Just sayin’.
-Next performance Andrea Bocelli and Mary J. Blige sing for Haiti…..Andrea does “Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water” in Italian……overall performance not too bad, but only because it’s a beautiful song to begin with.
Commercial
-President of recording something or other; sorry was talking to my sister. He’s pimping out the Grammy organization or something.
-Give out more awards!! Too much talking and filler fluff crap.
-Adam Sandler…..jeans, t-shirt, blazer…..nice! Introduces Dave Matthews Band.
-Dave Matthews Band performs…..my sister and I discuss how boring the Grammys are this year.
-Rickie Martin and one of the chicks from Glee…..announce Female Pop Vocal Performance.
-Female Pop Vocal Performance Winner: Beyonce
Commercial
-LL Cool J…..mmmmm…..what’s with the hat?…..introduces Maxwell
-Maxwell performs…..in comes Roberta Flack
-I’m quickly losing interest in the show…..not good Grammys! You’re losing me ’cause you’re so dang boring.
-Time to show all the people in the music business who died since the last Grammy Awards ceremony. Time for more wine.
-Jeff Bridges…..introduces Jeff Beck
-Jeff Beck performs…..who’s the chick singing? She looks cool….her ponytail literally looks like a pony’s tail; it’s cute though
-Ok, coming into the last half hour
Commercial
-Quentin Tarantino…..dude is weird….why is he talking like that?…..boyfriend says “who does he think he is”…..introduces next performance
-Drake performs with Eminem and Lil Wayne with Travis Barker on drums…..don’t know or care about this Drake guy, but Eminem makes me drool…..haha, Jamie Foxx using his Flip and singing along…..mmmmm Eminem…..awwww, group hug
Commercial
-John Legend and Carlos Santana…..announce Album of the Year
-Album of the Year Winner: Taylor Swift
-As always Taylor Swift looks beyond surprised…..she’s so cute and excited; it’s a nice thing to see.
-John Legend says goodnight
