The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards were last night. I don’t have cable, however, so I was unable to participate in viewing. If you’re in the same pathetic boat I am, here’s a summary of the night’s apparently lack luster ceremony.
…the show began, Britney spoke like three sentences — that was the entirety of her appearance as a performer, and she did all of it with the microphone hiding half her face from the camera — then these kick-ass dancers came out to do Rihanna’s “Disturbia,” and I was like, “This is gonna be @@cking awesome.” And then Rihanna started singing and, IMHO, it was all pretty much a straight shot down from there…
…Taylor Swift introduces the Jonas Brothers, one of whom she’s dating, although I can’t remember which one. This looks like a segment out of Sesame Street right now. I take that back. Sesame Street would be more interesting, and I might even learn something other than exactly how tightly Nick Jonas can squint his eyes without them actually being closed. I like how there’s, like, Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas and Awkward Jonas…
…Why do we even bother having rappers perform at the VMAs? You have to bleep out literally every third word. Why do we do this?…
…Talk all the @@@@ you want about Miley Cyrus, but, an hour into this awards show, she’s the first presenter who hasn’t flubbed her lines. And she’s 15 years old. I’m just saying…
Read the rest of this hilarious minute-by-minute at The Evil Beet.
For a complete list of the winners, visit MTV.com
Image Source: Daily Mail Online